So after a few days of browsing the site I have been (as the topic says) inspired to attempt a short story of my own. I haven't settled on the final details so all I can say is that it will be my take on the whole 'Sideshow Bob' series of episodes from the series.
Being my first try I won't go for any of the alternate realities (winged Lisa, twins, ect.), instead I may go for a grittier, more realistic setting.

Just a note to new readers, each update is the entire story up to that point so if you don't want several copies you are better off skimming to the end for the most recent update.

Oh and fair warning for the kids, this is not a child's story, so there are a few swear words.

I know I have a fairly distinctive style of speech, so with that in mind, I will pay attention to prose.

The only problem I may have is actually getting the story converted and posted here. But I'll work something out.

The story at its current build is actually a small segment of an ongoing story that I have been wanting to rewrite and expand upon.

You can just attach it to your posts, in full reply, click Additional Options.

A little from column A, a little from column B. I tend to write my best stuff during my manic-depressive phases.

Here's a large update. The first chapter I posted has been relegated to the dreaded 'prologue' heading until such time as I find a better place for it.

So without further ado... I present chapters 1-4 (though 4 isn't quite done yet).

Oh... and here;
http://realities.simpworks.com/image/405
This is the picture that inspired the scene in chapter two.

Thank you! You're very kind, now off with you! Write my friend, write! Good luck!

 P.S- I'm struggling for a title by the by. It's leaning towards 'Fate' or something. :/
Suggestions?

I, personally, am satisfied with how close I got to Simpreal's intended scene, its alot easier to write around a picture than it is to draw one based on a description. I dunno. That's just the way I write. And I wouldn't be opposed to someone who wanted to make such a picture. In fact I would be honored.

A little preview- the next scene will be another Maggie one. She is actually very interesting to write for as I pretty much have only guesses to go on for her character. I hope I'm doing her justice, being the youngest would be difficult. Especially with Bart and Lisa for siblings. (I'm the oldest of 3 boys if you're curious.)

Its nearly done, anyways, hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for the honest critique, George. Yes, those little mistakes bug the crap out of me. I think I caught most of 'em, though, and they will be fixed with the next update. I counted almost a dozen use's of the word 'had' in the last few paragraphs of chapter 2 much to my frustration!

Also, if you could PM me with some specific examples of my redundancies I would be happy to listen.

Okay, here is Chapter 5 faithful readers! Slowly we approach the climax and conclusion!

It might be changed with the next update as I had to rush typing it up this time. Probably won't be anything major, so feel free to accept this as the final version (until I do a final draft).

Enjoy.

edit: Oh man, there are alot of typos. Sorry everyone, they will be fixed ASAP!

It should end up being a tight little package, no loose strings. Everyone's patience will pay off...I hope.

*returns to masacistically abusing self over tiny errors*

Chapter 6 ought to be up by monday. Expect the pace to pick up as I write my first scene involving Bart and Maggie interacting. An ending has been decided upon and all that remains is how I want to get there, so no worries (for once) about running out of momentum, probably my biggest fault as a writer.

*twitches*

Okay, I apologise for this in advance, but the last part of chapter 5 is not satisfactory as is. Lisa's acceptance of the situation has been grating on my mind for days now, making it difficult to rebound and continue with the story. Its too out of character and in my haste to finish, I took my eye off the ball and screwed up.
No worries, though. The offending parts have been rewritten and it is much better, imho. When I post the next chapter be sure to check that area because there is an important new detail concerning Bob's past that I shifted to an earlier spot in the story to accomodate the revisions.

Now, moving on.
*sits down to write chapter 6 with a fresh outlook*

Its getting gripping now..... it just gets better and better. Before the rewrite I had a suspicion of the location Lisa is at... it seemed natural. And the clues of silence was a nice touch in recognition of how this building is built.

Anyway a couple of bits of critcism now but only minor issues......I will try to do it without spoiling the plot for readers. A sentence seems incomplete.... about her backpack.... you have put "stuffed underneath a parked" I assume you meant to type "car" there

Second critique is how Bart realises who is responsible just seems a bit to quick to come to him. Maybe he should of gone through some clues or thoughts with Maggie or done some investigation, as Lis and Bart have done when solving his crimes in the past. The step from who is responsible to where Lis is being hidden should be padded out more. Maybe Bart looks at something in Lisa's room which makes him think, or reads something which makes him click. It needs some brainstorming of some of the places SSB could be hiding leading on to the realisation thats where Lisa would be, otherwise is seems a bit rushed.

Otherwise plot is progressing fantastically and the rest enjoyable. Looking forward to more

-Carl

Yup formatting seemed all ok my end..... Loaded correctly into openoffice on other PC last night and I just tried it on Word on this PC... and again opens fine.

So, as promised, here is the rewrite of Chapter 6. I had time, also, to include a fair chunk of 7, but don't take it as a final draft. I have noticed that the closer to the end of this thing I get the more spots that need minor tweaks for continuity there seem to be and this has resulted in about three decent rewrites so far. Once again, please bear with me as the final details of my story unfold...

Oh, and I have done some thinking on the title and have one picked out. Sorry if it seems corny, but I don't think it's been used yet.

Death of a Simpson (Salesman, if you don't get the reference)

I haven't acually seen the play but it's supposed to be dramatic I believe so it should make an appropriate title. I also gave simple titles to each chapter currently done.

Chapter One- 'Collision'
Chapter Two- 'Sanctuaries'
Chapter Three- 'A Bright New Day'
Chapter Four- 'Worlds Apart'
Chapter Five- 'Trapped'
Chapter Six- 'United'
Chapter Seven- 'Comedy and Tragedy'

Hello again everyone! Today I have for you... the climax, I suppose, for this little story I am telling. There is going to be one more chapter after this so please be patient. I have to get it just right.
The title of that final chapter (8) will be 'Four Simple Words' for those that are curious.

Edit: Fair warning for the kids... this is not a child's story and there is a little swearing and violence throughout the plot.