I know this may be rather boring/uninteresting to some or most people here, but as I've just spent an hour of this evening typing it up for the purposes of blogging it on MySpace, I figure I might as well post it here too.

This is a long pseudo-essay of sorts that is simply an explanation of who I am. My personality, so to speak. Many of you here already feel like you know me well enough, but if you care, you may want to read this anyway. Props if you do, forgiveness if you don't.


An Extended "About Me" - Read this if you wish to know me better.
My name is Adam, I live in Orange County out here in California. It's a pretty cool place, but sometimes I hate the weather. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and dry year 'round. It's not like most people think it is though. The way people look at "The OC" and all... really, it's just like everywhere else. It has its ups and downs. A middle class does indeed exist out here.

Well now if you're reading this you must be interested in knowing a bit about me. So if you've gone this far, prepare to go a bit further.

I am a bit of a complex person when it comes to my mood. Sometimes I'm mellow and rational, other times I'm spontaneous and a bit hyper. It usually just depends on who I'm with. Friends usually put me in a good enough mood to interact amiably and have a good time. On my own though, I get lost in thought and, some would say, depressed easily.

I think about the world a lot, and where it's going. I see humans being cruel to each other every day everywhere, and it makes me wonder. Sometimes people treat each other so horribly, I can't understand why people do some of the things that they do. I have suffered at the hands of people who, for reasons unknown to me, have decided that instead of being honest and forthcoming, would rather hurt me. As such I have grown to develop a very bleak outlook on society in general. I have been on a steady decline from my once steadfast optimism since May of 2007.

Enough of that heavy stuff though, let's talk about everyone's favorite subject - music. I personally have a huge passion for music, specifically classic rock. I enjoy long guitar solos, and meaningful lyrics. Pink Floyd is my favorite band, as they have both powerful, emotional instrumentals, and lyrics that say something. Whether it's Roger Waters's criticisms of our society and the people that live in it, or David Gilmour's cryptic, metaphorical descriptions of life and its complicated, often frustrating situations, Pink Floyd's music has always spoken to me.

I respect musicians who put a message into their music, instead of just letting other people write it for them. I hate when an artist doesn't really feel their music, if they're just in it for the money. It can't be that way. Music, like any other form of art, is a way to express yourself. Musicians like Bob Dylan or John Lennon, they wrote songs that conveyed their feelings. Few musical groups that have gained worldwide success have that kind of songwriting talent these days.

I know that statement may make some people angry at me, because a lot of people inevitably do like some kind of modern music. I'm okay with that. I'm not saying that what I listen to is better than what you do; you just have a different taste in music. No two people are exactly alike, and no two people have exactly the same taste in music. And I'm also not saying that I don't listen to any modern music; I do. But I have to find something I like about the band - for someone like me, I can't just say "Duhh well, they sound good so hey whatever."

I also play guitar. I don't think I'm the best, but I also am certainly not terrible. I've been playing since August of 2006, and although my learning has been sporadic, I've come a long way since then. I would not consider myself a beginner, nor would I consider myself a pro; I like to think of myself as "experienced".

My relationships with people have been very meaningful in my life. Although I have never had a full-on "girlfriend", I have had several people that I have had very strong feelings for. All of them have had a large impact on my life, some negative, some positive. As of now I am single.

I treat love very, very seriously, unlike some people. I have never had feelings for more than one person at a time. I don't say things like "Well let's see, first off I'd date her, then her, then her..." Nah. It doesn't work like that with me. When I develop feelings for someone, I'm in tunnel vision. In past instances that has been my undoing.

I would not date someone simply for the novelty of "being in a relationship" or "having a girlfriend". I'm waiting for the day when I find someone that I am truly attracted to, and who is truly attracted to me. In the past I have thought that perhaps I've found this person. This was a mistake. Though I believe I am ready to treat someone with love and dedication, God continues to deny me just that. It hurts at times, but I know that this is simply His way of making me stronger.

That said, I do believe in God; and not in an uncertain way. I am not agnostic, nor am I a deist. I am a full-time Christian. I believe in Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, I believe in the Resurrection, and I try my best to walk in His footsteps. Time and again I fail. Fortunately for myself and the rest of the world, He is loving and forgiving. I trust and love Him above all things on this earth.

If you are someone who talks to me on a routine basis, then you probably think you have a good idea of who I am. You probably see me as one specific type of person. Few people have seen every aspect of me. As such, some of you may think it awkward if we get into talking about something "deep"; specifically, personal problems. Know this, though: if I consider you to be a true and honest friend, or if I feel something even more than friendship towards you (yes, I'm talking about love) - then there is no such thing as an awkward conversation. I would willingly spill my guts to you, and I would expect the same from you.

If you ever feel the need to talk to someone about personal problems, I am here. This life is full of its problems, and we all have our own that we must deal with on a daily basis. If you are close to me, you're welcome to tell me anything you want. I would gladly bear the weight of the problems of someone that I love if it means seeing them smile again. As I have done in the past, and no doubt, will continue to do.

Sometimes though (and I would certainly know this) words simply cannot express how hurt, depressed, or tired you feel. And if this is this case, you may hug me.

-Adam Duarte
15th February, 2008

Yggdrasill
It's not just seeing it on the news, or reading about it on the internet. I've seen people being cruel to one another with my own two eyes. As I've said, I've been one of many who has been wronged by someone. You don't have to look far to see people treating each other poorly. It could be something as serious as theft, or it could be something as simple as driving by someone and throwing something at them, or yelling "FAG!"

Yes, I've seen this happen before. It disgusts me. This and many other things which vary in severity are the things people do to each other every day, everywhere. For no apparent reason other than it amuses them to abuse their fellow man.

brakusaetsya
Heh, it is from that area; Argentinian. My dad's family is part Argentinian, part French, and my mom's is part Native American and part British. Although we've been in America for many generations, so you'd never be able to tell.

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it.

*hugs*

Rain_Kid
Thank you, and don't worry about your English. In my time on this forum I've been around many English learners, and it doesn't bother me at all. I have a great respect for them actually. That they can come on a forum and discuss using a language that they weren't born speaking... I would find it extremely hard to do that with a language like Spanish or Russian.

And yes, my dad's family is part Argentinian, although not a large part. Like I said, both sides of my family have been in America for so long that the only clues of my heritage come from my surname.