Thanks for the honest critique, George. Yes, those little mistakes bug the crap out of me. I think I caught most of 'em, though, and they will be fixed with the next update. I counted almost a dozen use's of the word 'had' in the last few paragraphs of chapter 2 much to my frustration!

Also, if you could PM me with some specific examples of my redundancies I would be happy to listen.

Okay, here is Chapter 5 faithful readers! Slowly we approach the climax and conclusion!

It might be changed with the next update as I had to rush typing it up this time. Probably won't be anything major, so feel free to accept this as the final version (until I do a final draft).

Enjoy.

edit: Oh man, there are alot of typos. Sorry everyone, they will be fixed ASAP!

It should end up being a tight little package, no loose strings. Everyone's patience will pay off...I hope.

*returns to masacistically abusing self over tiny errors*

Chapter 6 ought to be up by monday. Expect the pace to pick up as I write my first scene involving Bart and Maggie interacting. An ending has been decided upon and all that remains is how I want to get there, so no worries (for once) about running out of momentum, probably my biggest fault as a writer.

*twitches*

Okay, I apologise for this in advance, but the last part of chapter 5 is not satisfactory as is. Lisa's acceptance of the situation has been grating on my mind for days now, making it difficult to rebound and continue with the story. Its too out of character and in my haste to finish, I took my eye off the ball and screwed up.
No worries, though. The offending parts have been rewritten and it is much better, imho. When I post the next chapter be sure to check that area because there is an important new detail concerning Bob's past that I shifted to an earlier spot in the story to accomodate the revisions.

Now, moving on.
*sits down to write chapter 6 with a fresh outlook*

Its getting gripping now..... it just gets better and better. Before the rewrite I had a suspicion of the location Lisa is at... it seemed natural. And the clues of silence was a nice touch in recognition of how this building is built.

Anyway a couple of bits of critcism now but only minor issues......I will try to do it without spoiling the plot for readers. A sentence seems incomplete.... about her backpack.... you have put "stuffed underneath a parked" I assume you meant to type "car" there

Second critique is how Bart realises who is responsible just seems a bit to quick to come to him. Maybe he should of gone through some clues or thoughts with Maggie or done some investigation, as Lis and Bart have done when solving his crimes in the past. The step from who is responsible to where Lis is being hidden should be padded out more. Maybe Bart looks at something in Lisa's room which makes him think, or reads something which makes him click. It needs some brainstorming of some of the places SSB could be hiding leading on to the realisation thats where Lisa would be, otherwise is seems a bit rushed.

Otherwise plot is progressing fantastically and the rest enjoyable. Looking forward to more

-Carl

Yup formatting seemed all ok my end..... Loaded correctly into openoffice on other PC last night and I just tried it on Word on this PC... and again opens fine.