Lisa, the Simpson!

OK I have taken the earlier script format I did last year and started to flesh it out into a story format.

The ideas I have been thinking off are now going to be rolled in to later chapters as opposed to a seperate "episode" as in the script formats I have been doing.

I am going to probably expand the original episode's 3 acts into the first 4 or 5 chapters of the larger story. Episode 2 will probably take it to chapter 8-10.

The chapters are shorter parts of the acts and thus major changes of scene are now in different chapters.

Thos who did read the script will know the outcome of the early part of the story but all new ideas are going to crop up as well as some of the ideas i had as the continuation. All I will tell you that a major character will die.

As I wasn't the best at english myself (me fail english....ect ect) I know that my writing skills are rubbish to say the least. So to begin i am just posting chapter 1. So I can get some feedback on writing ect, or weather I should just return to the script format lol. I know i said I would never attemtpt to write a story but much kudos to CalculatedChaos to get me eager to try :) Chapter 2 is actually completed and really starts off the main content of the story, but wanted to get some feedback to see what can be changed.

So here it is - Chapter 1:

http://www.ejnmedia.co.uk/simpsons/RelativeInsanityCh1.rtf

Boy, those are difficult scenes to handle...
*remains tight-lipped*

I wish you luck on your journey and that you enjoy what you've discovered at the end. :)

If your grasp of the english language worries you I'm sure the members of LTS would be glad to help out. (Myself included. ;))

Above all that, though, remember to HAVE FUN!

edit: I'll read this tommorow after work and get back to you.

Rofl would be a tad embarassing if i needed help with me english... as i come from UK heh heh.

More i should say my spelling and punctuation skills ect. ALso writing on this keyboard... which due to the fact this is a tv across room is on edge of wireless keyboard range and sometimes misses out characters..... I really should write on my main pc with wired keyboard

Ha! The irony, it's too much!
*whistles awkwardly*

That's pretty much what I ment. ;)

My name is Roger by the way, or just CC.  My handle is a pain, I know.

Just finished and I must say this definately feels like how an episode might start. You pretty much nailed the lighthearted humor. I guess my only real critiques at this point are formatting issues and using the 'Mmmm... something' catch phrase twice in the first chapter.

Otherwise keep going, man! I'm unfamiliar with your source story so I wanna know whats gonna happen next. Get going!

Sorry about the extremely long delay. I Promised chapter 2 ages ago. But tonight I redone chapter 2 as I wasnt happy with it as I done originally.

So here is chapter 1 & 2 complete. hope it's not as long until chapter 3.

 

It's about time! ;)
Next chance I get I'll check this out.

I think I should have read the script first, gotta look for it.

The first two chapters are great, and I see that this is gonna be an interesting story that I should keep on reading when you post more.

EDIT: I read the script now, and I must say that this version is way better! Keep on writing, so there's hopefully gonna be that continuation you wanna do.